Love and relationships take work and compromise, but for an Aspie – the affectionate name given for sufferers of autism spectrum disorder , or Asperger's syndrome – the effort required reaches a whole new level. Aspies may feel disconnected on some level from normal social interactions, showing rather awkward and even off-putting behavior which can certainly strain efforts to experience dating and relationships. However, one can still find fulfillment if he or she embraces the universal principals of openness and honesty and movements to overcome their limits.
Be Honest with Your Partner
The best relationships are based in honesty, and the symptoms experienced by Asperger's sufferers may come across as rude, careless, and cold. It is in the interest of both partners then for the Aspie to make it clear that he has Asperger's syndrome before getting too deep into the relationship. Some people may be uncomfortable with this, it's true, but a caring partner will understand. Fortunately, honesty comes easily for Aspies.
Listen to Your Partner
While Aspies possess a unique and special perspective, their outward behavior and tendency to be super-focused on things can come across as, well, boring. Few people enjoy rambling monologues, and in Asperger's dating , this challenge that must be deal with head on. This social weakness, however, can be transformed into a potent advantage. Aspies, as everyone, are encouraged to listen to their partner, letting him or her talk about themselves and their interests, but they can channel their unique capacity for focus into, say, learning about their partner's interests, and in this way they can genuinely find commonality.
Give up Control
Aspies are a prelude to a variety of seemingly abnormal behaviors, but one of the most disturbing manifestations of the condition in Asperger's relationships is “control freak” behavior. Extreme obsession, which apparently ignores the cares of people around, may contribute to this perception, but it is important to note that Aspies also experience a heightened sense of anxiety, and controlling behavior may be a way of simply coping with a chaotic world. Giving up control of the so-called NT partner may be easier said than done, but it is worth a try. The partner will certainly appreciate it, and there are tools available for alleviating the physical aspects of anxiety.
Prepare for the Unexpected
While Aspies are straightforward, logical, and organized in a way that makes perfect sense to them, their ability to control their symptoms and function in a normal way can be very fragily built. Change can rattle them severely, and when facing unexpected situations, this control can collapse and the worst of their symptoms return in full force. Preparing for unexpected social scenarios and having a plan in place is so critical. Relaxation therapy can help provide a set of steps for calming down, and of course engaging the help of a caring partner may help alleviate the very stress one experiences.
Life with Asperger's can be difficult and participating in dating and fulfilling relationships even more so, but by taking advantage of some common sense approaches, one can put himself on the path to love and happiness and achieving a mutually satisfying romantic relationship.